So I am needing some advice from the mothers that read/check/glance/pass by my blog. I have two wonderful children. Darla will be 2 on the 28th of December, Bennett is 3 1/2 months old. Frequently there are times where both of them are crying at the same time. This happens at all different kinds of moments. The one that happened tonight; Darla didn't want me to nurse Bennett when it was time for him to eat. I began feeding him and she cried the whole time - which made it difficult to feed Bennett because he kept crying on and off since he could hear her. That is just one example. Other times they are both crying for whatever reason. That happened this week and they both were crying for about 30 min straight. Mind you - I was trying to get them to stop some how, some way.
So, mothers - anyone - what do I do? How do I not let it get to my nerves. How do I stay calm? Sometimes I just break down and cry with them, other times I am so frustrated I cannot think, I feel like I'm just reacting (which is no good). Oh the joys of motherhood right?
8 comments:
Jenny...
I read this to my mom... she says that Darla is the one you have to work with, she's looking for attention, acting out, possibly jealousy for you paying attention to Bennett. She says, do not reward her, positively or negatively, for her crying. When they are looking for attention, they'll take the good or bad. So, you either need to remove her from the area where you are, or remove yourself and let her know when she's done, you can talk. And then, when Darla stops crying and comes to find you, she gets praise. Reward the good behavior. Good luck :)
Hey Jen,
That was an awesome comment above and very true. I also remember a friend telling me that when I had more than 1 kid, someone is always unhappy and that my job is to do triage. So, evaluate who needs you more and go with that. Darla with learn and grow with you. Bennett is too little. For your sanity, try to stay calm and find something to laugh about. NO matter what you do to get Darla situated before you nurse, she'll always find a way to bother you while you nurse. I like the idea of either putting her somewhere else or you can go into your room and sit in there with the door closed. It sounds mean, but sometimes they need to be away from you for a few minutes (and Moms need that too). Lastly, call me and we can laugh about something, even if it is just my favorite name of all time. hang in there, it gets better!
Hey Jenny, so I only have one kid, but lately when she gets really whiny and crying all the time I tell her to go sit on the stairs until she can be happy (same idea as the other two comments!). She usually will stay there until she has stopped crying, then comes running down saying she's happy, which is a great time to steer her toward some sort of activity or toy that will take her mind off of whatever was making her sad.
So I can't really give advice about this either but...I was just remembering how I would just start sobbing when Jane was crying hard and I couldn't get her to stop. It was a crying war! I too have been constantly trying to stay calm during certain situations. It is so hard! Hang in there!
Oh my dear I know exactly how you feel :) This happens to me too quite often, though not as much lately because I think Lily is getting older.
When they are both crying for no direct reason I try to soothe Mason first. I read somewhere to do this because Mason will remember but Lily wont. Unless of course Mason made Lily cry.
If Mason is crying because he is not getting is way etc he has to sit on the stairs until he is done crying and wants to talk in his "nice voice" or I just leave the room until he is done. I like the first comment about rewarding the positive behavior.
I did find for the first few months after having Lily, Mason was acting up because I wasn't giving him enough attention during the day. So I make sure I sit and play with him as much as possible. That has probably been the biggest help.
Lastly I always try and distract him before I nurse Lily. I put on PBS or get him playing with a toy and run upstairs to nurse her in quiet. Especially now that she gets distracted if I breathe to loud.
I hope this helps a little, I feel your pain and tears!
I think it doesn't really matter what you do as long as you don't get mad, which you don't do. So you're doing great! If no one will watch a show with you or read a book outloud while you nurse, or sing a song, then why not have a crying fest, for pity's sake? Then you can turn it into a face-making fest and maybe if your luck is really good, it will turn into a laughing fest?! When distraction doesn't work, if YOU can't think of something, and your silent (or outloud) prayers aren't answered with a bright idea, endurance is the bottom line, right? :) Was it Thomas S. Monson who said, "Sometimes the only way out is through?" If I find a better answer for you, I'll pass it on! Love you!!!
(Distraction: "I spy..." or Ten Little Indians, or hide-n-seek in the room)
Have Darla call us! My kids and I love to get phone calls from sweet little girls.
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